Would you judge me if I told you I have been the person to ghost people throughout my life? Not just when it comes to dating but family and associates as well. Is it right? Sometimes yes sometimes no. We are going to get into what ghosting is and when is it appropriate to ghost someone and when it's not.
Ghosting is a term used when you cut all communications with someone without their knowledge or an explanation. There are 2 reasons why someone may ghost you. One, they are a complete asshole. Two, they don't want to have any conflict by just telling you the honest truth.
Ghosting has different ways of affecting a person depending on the connection level, the amount of time you knew them, and what lead up to it. It can be very hurtful to just ghost someone who thought everything was going good, then they never hear from you again.
" Why Do People Ghost "
One of the main reasons a person will ghost you is out of fear of telling you they just don't want to talk to you anymore. You may be thinking well that is such a wack reason. One thing I have learned when it comes to dating is that many people don't know how to communicate, especially when it comes to an awkward conversation. Instead of being real with you, some people will rather cut all communication. Avoid you in public, block your number, or leave you on "read". Another reason why some people move throughout life ghosting people is that they're shitty people. Your feelings don't matter to them. So when they are done with you, they're literally done with you and cut off all communication. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is the honest truth. Some of you are waiting for someone to have the courage to reach out and they never will. They are horrible people who probably do this for fun.
Have you ever watched that show Catfish on MTV? So many people get their heart broken because they got themselves into online relationships and because the person isn't who they claimed they were, lots of them have stories of being ghosted.
"When Is It Ok To Ghost Someone & When Is It Not?
Sometimes you may meet people who have read flags that make you feel uneasy. You want to cut ties with them but your gut is telling you they may not take it well. In those cases, I feel it is completely okay to ghost someone. Especially if this person has shown aggressiveness towards you before. You know when someone shows you signs they're cray-cray. I have grown as a woman and started telling people I don't want them in my life. Many men have cursed me out and got really disrespectful.
Never put your life in danger for nobody. If you feel like someone will not take rejection well then ghost them and move on. Some people don't take rejection well. They just flip out no matter how nicely you say it. When you have been dealing with someone on an intimately level and have built a connection that is when it's not okay to ghost someone. You can't just go throughout life playing with people's feelings and leading them on. If you feel like the relationship is toxic, or you're not happy, then politely tell them that. Text, facetime, Instagram, etc. Just don't walk out someone's life without an explanation when they have shown complete interest and commitment in getting to know you. That is very corny to be kicking it with someone for weeks or months then disappear on them. It leaves them worried and confused with unanswered questions. It's very hard to move on from something like that. The fear of getting close with someone thinking they may leave too seems to follow you.
.....My Ghosting Experience
I went through a stage after leaving a toxic 4-year relationship in 2012. In 2013 I went on a dating spree. I was dating with nobody feelings in consideration. I didn't want to be serious with anyone. I was still hurt and wanted to feel like I was still that girl. I met a few amazing guys and a few losers. I would date them, then drop them and move on to the next. I would go on dates knowing I wouldn't keep in touch with them after. Didnt explain myself would just ghost them all. They would try to find me on social media, or call from different numbers. It was crazy. Being in my late 20s now looking back, I feel so bad. I know that some of the guys were really great men.At that time I was newly single, heartbroken, with little self-esteem. I also have ghosted many people I use to be friends with and family members because I didnt want them in my life anymore because they were toxic for my life. I didnt want to deal with the conflict of arguring. Once I was done with you, I was over it and the person. I always assumed they will figure it out. I moved on with my life and left peoiple behind and no it isnt right. Now I know that.
Ways To Recover From Someone Ghosting You?
- The best tip I can give you is to not go crazy trying to track them down. Sometimes when you have been ghosted there is this urge of wanting to know, why? That's okay but you can't put too much energy into trying to find a person who didn't want to be in your life. Don't stalk them neither.
- Don't put the blame on yourself. Remember they never gave you an explanation of what the reason was. You can't feel guilty for someone you don't even know.
- Spend time with the people who actually want you in their life. Don't put all your energy into a person who ghosted you, Enjoyed your friends and family
Have you ever watched that show Catfish on MTV? So many people get their heart broken because they got themselves into online relationships and because the person isn't who they claimed they were, lots of them have stories of being ghosted.