I can also read myself very well and study my own past behavior. The moment I became a woman was when I opened up to myself. Sometimes we are closed minded to ourselves because we are scared to know the real us. When you learn about who you're, it will help you handle situations better. You evolve by self reflecting.
One of the things I recently learned about myself was about my relationships. I am very spiritual, more than I am religious. If you don't understand what I mean, after this post go check out this article.
the-difference-between-spirituality-and-religion
I go to spiritual advisers about certain aspects of my life. One told me "Kayla you can't make people do and feel how you want them to feel." I remember reading their response back and thinking, wow that was harsh! In reality I had to reflect and see the true meaning of that observation. Sometimes I tend to feel like a person should be obligated to treat me a certain way because I decided to treat them that way. Even with my communication. I am upfront, a bold communicator. I tend to judge others communication skills, if its not like mines. I have been looking for the perfect guy who does things like myself. Instead of the right guy for me and learning to understand his way of doing things. Next,
I self sabotage my own relationships. This is a brave statement. I even heard Iggy Azalea admit this about herself:
Every relationship I have ever had, has ended because of me. I tend to look for things that aren't there. I will lurk for things until I find something on a guy. Its like I'm scared of the possibility of getting hurt, so I find something bad in others to give me a excuse to leave before they actually do hurt me. I know that's deep, but its a self reflecting moment for me and its my biggest flaw. I really had to look at this certain situation I am in now. His indecisiveness scares me so bad I found myself picking him apart to friends about little things. It's like I was trying to find small bad traits to overshadow the good guy he is. I really had to check myself before I ruined the chance to see what could happen between us.
Even being in denial about liking him. I ended up calling him and getting a service not reachable message and go so worried about him since he was traveling for work. Part of this problem is trust, yes I know.
We all have to self reflect on our past decisions and ways to understand who we are and why we react the way we do. Its all apart of self improving as a individual. You have to notice your amazing qualities but also be real enough to see your flaws, understand them and work on them. You can't always just self reflect and not work on your inner you. Some things near improvement because it's effecting your own life in a negative way. Once you actually look in the mirror and see who you are and get to know you, your life will change. You will be able to take control of your life because you now know the person you have to spend everyday with, yourself?